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Oct. 1st, 2009

03:56 am - It's not elementary, my dear watson.

I know, I know, months. I suck at this. I'll try harder. It's been rough.

First off I want to just ask this. Is there ever a time in your life where the burden being put on you is something that you want to touch, but at the same time, you just can't. I've had a moment, where I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and say "I can't deal with this! I don't know what to say! I don't know how this is handled! I don't have enough life experience with this to help you! I'm just a kid! Why?!"

For the person to whom is responsible for giving me this feeling, I am sorry. I am sorry if what I said wasn't helpful, in fact, I'm sorry if it seems I didn't try. Because I didn't, I'm well aware of that fact. I gave up, but you don't have to.

As for the school and work thing, gah if I bitch about that one more time, I might explode or implode or someplode.

Also, everyone knows me. Relationship wise,they know how I am. But I said three weeks ago to my sister, and I've said it to B.H and A.P., if I settle down with anyone, there'd be one person I'd do it for. Yet I've inserted foot into mouth on that one, believe you me. Is all hope lost.

/end emo-blog.

Current Location: my bed

Current Mood: cold

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Jun. 23rd, 2009

08:32 pm - Fantooooooostic

I have heatstroke, and am angry that I've lost yet another day of school. So two weeks plus one day. Anyways it's causing me not to think right, and as much as I want to fill in on the days I've missed, no one will miss a real entry terribly.

So, I was bored and looking up quotes and found some coded ones that weren't done too bad so...enjoy, and comment on their merit if you want..




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Current Location: living room leather

Current Mood: sick

Current Music: catch me up

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Jun. 16th, 2009

07:37 pm - Growl.

Before I get into the first day at school, I have to post this conversation had at dinner.

Muma: Where's M-A-X?

Me: Over H-E-R-E

Muma: O-K-A-Y

Jess: *giggles*

Me: Heh Y-O-U-SPACE-S-U-C-K

Muma: F-U-C-K

Me: L-E-A-R-N-2-G-R-A-M-M-A-R

Muma: Huh? You lost me, what's that mean?

Jess and Me: Learn2grammer.

Muma: *waves hand dismissively*

Dad: B-R-B

*table silence while everyone stares at dad*

Dad: Gotta go.

*table errupts in laughter as dad walks away*



:D My family can be silly. Anyways firsst day went so bloody awful I can't even be bothered to explain it for the fifth time. I hate my boss. End of story.

(P.S. Fettuchini Alfredo with seasoned chicken chunks. Mmm)

Current Location: Bed.

Current Mood: tired

Current Music: Nadda

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Jun. 15th, 2009

Jun. 14th, 2009

10:11 pm - My little heart attack

Well hai.

I was thinking about my post yesterday, the whole time I was walking the four dogs today, and the most amazing thing happened. Remember I was talking about the Great Dane pup last time? Well, I ran into another great dane today. One from the same parents, an earlier litter. And as much as I though Jade was nearing full size (she's almost as big as the black sheppard, and that's big) boy oh boy was I ever wrong.

Honestly, I've seen many Great Dane's in my lifetime of kennel work, but never like this. This Great Dane was not a dog, it was a bloody horse. It stood beside myself, and what I thought prior were big dogs. It's haunches stood between my hips and my waist, it's head at my chest level(he wasn't even holding it up!). I'm 5'6".

I was thoroughly amazed by this horse-like dog. The thing was ALMOST two years old, so was going to grow more. I've never been more glad to have three docile friendly dogs in my entire life, because all of them, and the boxer out of it's muzzle, could not have taken that thing down had things gone south.


I was supposed to try Rhubarb Strawberry pie tonight, but I never got around to it. A shame, since  I love rhubarb.


Oh yes, and now I'm having a panic attack of sorts, though someone made me laugh and calmed me a bit. I have to drive to woodstock (20 min drive) by myself tomorrow to a place I've never been for an interview to confirm my course spot for the PSW course. I'm freaking, I hate woodstock roads, and don't know them that well. And I don't want to parallel park in those tiny woodstock parking spaces in my beast of a truck.

Recommendation for the night, an comic that starts around some indie friends, and introduces some interesting characters throughout.  There are 1425 pages made to date, and I'd recommend going through the whole thing.  Questionable Content is for you if you think this sounds good. It's neat to see how much his characters change throughout this, as his skill increases, and he gets better at twisting the plots.

Current Location: living room couch

Current Mood: anxious

Current Music: Movie - Nacho Libre

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Jun. 13th, 2009

11:50 pm - Corresponding Branch to Central

Question. Why does it feel so good to shower and crawl back into bed? It feels like it should be illegal!


Honestly, I barely did anything worth doing today. Still waiting for the truck to be fixed, hopefully by monday or I'm screwed with a capital FUCK.

Imagine this. You're walking down the street minding your own and round a corner, to see the following:

A husky, and a black shepard, walking neck to neck, ears up.
A boxer, armed with a muzzle and a spike collar, growling like it's going out of style.
A great dane, not full size, but getting there, hopping, bringing up the rear.

How would you react? For one poor Ingersoll woman, this meant startling, and taking a few steps back, to land on her ass. For a few others, a double-take and a quick crossing of the street. For the man we passed sitting on a bench, a damn near heart attack.

Which brings me to my next bit of questions. The three large unmuzzled dogs, would you not think they were friendly? I mean, one of them is being walked by a 9 year old. If they were mean, wouldn't they have muzzles like the boxer?

As for the boxer, why are you scared of a dog in a muzzle? Because muzzle means 'will bite'? It could mean 'will bite dogs' or 'will bite strangers'. You just don't know. And at any rate, it's muzzled. It can't bite. So what are you people so worried about?

Ugh, That's it I guess. Its cold in here by the way.

Current Location: Living room couch

Current Mood: brrrrrr

Current Music: Movie "Mindstorm"

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Jun. 12th, 2009

03:40 pm - Stafford Bells on the Loose.

Seriously, someone needs to smack me for not ever doing what I say.

Anyways, M.L. made me realise I've not done this in awhile, so I may as well update.

I'm all settled in fingerhole and shit. I've been going to these seminars over the past few weeks, which have been interesting enough. Found out my personality type is ENTP. Also, did an aptitude test, and have a high aptitude for any job imaginable. No joke. If you don't believe me, I'll take a pic of the test so you can see lol. Doesn't really give me much in the field of career clarity though.

Great news today. I got a call from S.O., the Red Cross rep. I was originally going to have to wait until October to get into my course, as it's booked full (started june1st). Apparently someone dropped it, and the open slot went to me. I start Tuesday. Mother fucking yes.

Let's see....bathed the cat today, and took the husky to the groomers. Kicked the boxer, but that was an accident.

Hungry, loving the blog unamusement.blogspot.com/
 The end. Grawr. Must write more meaningful posts in future.

Current Location: ma room.

Current Mood: amused

Current Music: sound of silence - simon and garfunkel

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May. 7th, 2009

03:50 am - That's Just Anatomical Mr. Blue.

Well, I ended up breaking up with JK and deciding I was going to move to Ingersoll. Came up three days ago and have been staying with Muma.

Not sure what to talk about, I mean, I applied for a few jobs, but no body seemed to really be hiring here. I need to get in touch with a program that will allow me to go back to school, paid.

Started playing FTO, it's alright. Not as good as Cantr, not yet, the interface is shitty, and the birth crap was sped up because of the Open Beta test queue (which is at like 300 or something now). We'll see. I'm an Anu....An Anubis like creature pretty much. *shrugs*

Shit I dunno what else to say really. I'm not doing great, but I'm doing. Guess that's good enough.

Note to self: 1) Meet guy or girl in Ingersoll 2) Hook up with said guy or girl 3)??? 4) Profit.

Current Location: my bedroom at muma's

Current Mood: tired

Current Music: None.

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Apr. 17th, 2009

05:09 pm - Looks like you've got it...

I keep saying I'm going to keep this up, then when it comes down to it....*sighs* anyways.

Let's see, I'm having some doubts about the move to Port Colborne, though I did send an email to Port Cares to see if they could assist with housing, school and job.  I had a moment yesterday where I wondered if I should move to Ingersoll, but, there isn't anything more for my there besides family. Port has more jobs, albeit maybe only in summer but..still.

I feel better now that I have contacted them, and I left my number so hopefully someone calls me back.

As for the living situation TL told me a call was made to the Landlord about MB and BC being here. The Landlord said something to me about it, but thankfully they were on their way out. They say they're coming back in 3 weeks...which I do not like, because I do not want people in my space.

At least for now I can sit in my own living room, even though they've succeeded in making my furniture reek of weed due to their dis-respectfulness towards my request not to smoke it in the house. Whatever. They never even paid the money they agreed to, had they stayed here.Its like MO all over again, except this time annoyingly so.

BULLSHIT. So fed up with it all.

Anyways I have to call the landlord to see about getting my buzzer sent to my cell phone. Woot. But I am not telling anyone it is possible. I'd rather them not know, and be locked the fuck out. That's how bad it is.

Current Location: My room. my bed.

Current Mood: an annoyed

Current Music: Windchimes in the window

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Apr. 3rd, 2009

04:41 am - Cry cry mylady

Omg, look how long I let this slip again. I'm so good at this forgetting thing eh? Let's see, we've missed a lot...I did end up losing my job, but the week before my birthday I finally saw M.R again and met his buddy J.K. He asked me on a date, and yeah we been seeing each other I guess sine then. It was weird, but when I met him, I stopped seeing A.M completely. Total not me...

Uhm, muma has to have surgery because she has pulminary fibrosis, which is fancy-pants for lung scarring, from back when she had pneumonia. Gramps got cancer, and I spent a little over two months up in Ingersoll between his house and muma's helping out with radiation and chemo.

I came home a few weeks ago, but I feel I came home too soon, even though his treatments are done. I seriously enjoyed the time with muma an dad an jessy. I wish I coulda stayed up there forever, but reality rears its ugly head sometimes.

J.K and I are supposed to be getting a place in Port. I don't know if it will happen. He seems anti-planning. Who knows. But my lease is up at the end of May anyhow so, I have been cleaning and packing like a mofo.

What else? Some deaths, some abortions, some miscarriages (friends I mean, not me).

I gotta get my resumes printed out and start handing them out in port, as well as start looking for a place. I don't even care if I don't end up moving in with J.K, because I just love port, its such a pretty little town, and all the boats....*orgasms*

For now MB and BC are living with us again. It sucks man. MO owes me like 240 bucks that I'm thinking I probably will never see again. Hmm.. Anyways the good part is MB does my hair everyday lol. I love my hair being played with. BH has been working hard to help me get out of the house as much as possible though, so I don't go crazy from people in my space all day. And besides them having sex every morning and night, audibly, its not too bad.

Speaking of sex, I need to go see JK. I swear when I see that boy..man...whatever... But for some reason he makes me nervous, I think cuz he's got so much more experience than me. Also, the fibro pills have been lowering my sex drive, but they run out in a few days and I cannot afford a refil. So I'll be in pain more, but I'll be up for sex 24/7 again. Go me, I think...

I'm also playing Cantr II again, and on PD now (Players Department). Yay.  I wanna make an effort to read more books though.

So yeaaah annoyingly long catch up post. I think I'll bookmark this site so I can remember to actually write more.

Current Location: ma bed

Current Mood: meh

Current Music: sound- Zelda in heat crying

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Aug. 21st, 2008

05:18 pm - She's got one.

So a bunch has happened. I almost wrote a blog a few days ago, because AM was supposed to come over, but he got here too quick for me to write.

He had SM drive him here.. and later that night told me he told SM (his bro) about us.

AM: I told S.
ME:What? Why?
AM: I thought you didn't care?
ME:I don't. Its just you made such a big deal he wasn't gonna know

Seriously, he's just trying to cause trouble. Would explain why when I added SM to facebook he hasn't replied.

So Yah then there was this conversation:

ME:Did you enjoy yourself tonight?
AM:Not really.sorry.
ME:why did you stay for 5 hours then?

Honestly I have PROOF on my bed you DID enjoy yourself AM! But, I will not get mad, he's only being how he's been taught. I'm the same way. Still, jerkish.

Holy cow. All these guys from highschool are adding me to facebook and asking me out. Its bloody ridiculous. Like one of them I've never had more than two short conversations with. At least he was tactful about it. Movie or hang. Its so weird. And I keep turning them down. Because I'm like wtf we barely knew each other and now suddenly we're gonna hang like old pals? Na-uh.

Anyhow, NZ will be sending me a birthday gift (I'm 20 soon). I didn't want to give him the apartment because I thought I cannot guarentee I'll get it. So I gave him VK's address cuz she said I could. Maybe next time I'll use my nana's address, its just so far away. Or convince my parents (although my dad won't like it, but I could send it and not tell him=trouble).

This is a pretty pointless post, I just need people to know I'm still around. People at work text me today to ask if I still have my job. That's how bad its getting.

Muma's cancer is back. In her face, her arm, her shoulder, her back. This is scary. I cried. Not a lot, but I did, and that means something. I'm glad I'll be going to see her the week of my birthday. Is it selfish that I need her now more than she needs me? I don't want to lose her. Is it sefish of me?

"It still don't kill the pain"

I'm about ready for a week long sleep. I hope I don't lose my job.

Current Location: couch.

Current Mood: i dont know

Current Music: None: Judge david Young

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Aug. 12th, 2008

12:38 am - Ahh shid

So, some kind soul at work finally switched me my shift for thursday so i can go see yagopan or w/e her name is. Only bad part is now I have to work tomorrow. Blah. but thursday off so... So much for two days in a row tho eh?

A.M is on a break with his woman again and after me for round 2. We're thinking wednesday. Yes, I know, we're scheduling sex. haha laugh it up. Hopefully I get some afternoon shifts soon so when he asks me at 1am I can actually say sure and not that i'm going to bed. RAWR.

Also, C.W was over last night. We laid on the couch each with feet over one arm, heads in the middle, and seshed out to zeppelin all night. I swear one of these days one of us needs to make a move. But for now, its comforting to just chill ya know. We put dark blankets over the balcony window when the sun started comin up lol. I definately laid with my head on his lap awhile, and when he complained he was sitting up I told him to lay down. He's like but then I wouldn't have your head on my lap, or my arm across your chest. Boo Ya! Confirmation! Again~ The problem is we have days like that, and days where we barely sit next to each other. But oh well. Like I said, comforting.

Bah, its been days since M.B and B.C left. My nights rock cuz I can stretch out on the couch.. but then I don't have anyone to talk to. So then they suck. I actualy went out with B.H earlier, to our old spot of Kelsey's for dessert (D.J. works there). But there was a wait, so we went to Dennys BLAHH.  I seriously don't know why I hung out with her again. Its just a matter of time until she oulls another stunt of disrespect or betrays me.

Hopefully cable/internet/phone soon. No more steain a crappy 11.0mbps conection from across the parking lot. Waitin on friday pay. It better be good.

Saw Bob the other day picking up a lady friend with my truck. Durr.

Anyways that's all for now. Zelda is sleepin so I'm trying not to mak too much noise. She was pyscho earlier.

Tea again soon M.B?

Current Location: Apartment, couch

Current Mood: and tired

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Aug. 7th, 2008

06:52 pm - About that B & E

Dane Cook on the brain for sure.

So here comes the revolution, years go by, and I'm back. Its been a hell of a time, and I'm not about to dote over it all.. hospitals, deaths, friends, grad..etc..etc..

Right now I'm in a cozy little apartment. Two bedrooms and one roommate. Wasn't like that hour ago. Hour ago there were 4 eh? But M.B. and B.C. got their own cozy little place that they're going to let me visit soon..(YOU HEAR ME?) ..Finally, I can stretch my legs.. although now I have no one to talk to cept M.O. And he only wants to talk about aliens and government conspiracies lol.

I miss my girl talk M.B.

So Mal added me to an online site, ta da facebook "you no hide from me!" And apparently her b-day is the day before mine. She'll be 20 as well. And I'll be in Ingersoll, her town, that whole week. Mass hangouts planned I wanna see the little one she's cute. Ash had her second too, and he's a peach methinks. Gotta hang with the ex-pregos for sure.

I've gotta clean the house and get blood drawn tomorrow, but then A.M tells me he's on a "break" with his gf, so we're free to..you know..again..what the hell is he playin' at? Lol. But daaamn, I won't say no. N.Z. knows I slept with A.M. by the way. Don' know who told him.. although I may have an idea of a boy who may have <-LOL.

Anyways, I'm giggly, cuz I know M.B and B.C are in their new place and its soooo cool for them. And M.B. is gonna get what she wants =D.

M.O. is playin Halo2..and I'm bordom in a jar..I think I'm gonna take a short walk, it stopped raining.

Lovezzz

Current Location: Ma apartment..beige chair woot

Current Mood: lonely

Current Music: sound:halo 2 WHOA

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Dec. 13th, 2005

05:55 pm - MUAH

Maybe I should keep up on this more.

Current Mood: crazy

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Jun. 22nd, 2005

06:49 pm - Wow its been awhile

So, what have I missed? tons. Seing as its JUNE now! lmao. So Short form, liked greg soo much, sam and james went out week later broke up. I stop seeing greg. End up[ going out with matt. Sam shortly dates his friend joe. Breaks up with him. Fucks this guy Jim, calls it off. Matt breaks up with me(thank god). I say to everyone I still like Greg. Everyone says they know. And have known *shrugs*
So Sam and I are down on the hill, close to going home (we were gonna leave and hang at timmies for a bit) but then we see a guy with a tan pitbull. We stop to pet it, and are talking about how its so good, and were like you should breed it with destiny. And then the guy (Mark) is like destiny? And I'm like yeah, our friend greg's dog. And he was like "I live with greg!!" and i was like small world!. So then later i'm telling mark about how i like greg still, wnat to bone him..etc etc, and sam's like You should dump matt and go for Greg. And i say Nah I'll just do 'em both, and mark says Hahah yeah Greg wont mind. (this is all our little joke(except for marks statement)). So I get home and matt breaks up with me. Like whoa. I laughed all weekend. Im so immature lol. So greg's 19th birthday is friday. I told sam and mark i was thinking about giving him a birthday lay. And then yesterday sams like I don't think you will. and I was like oh yeah? But then i say haha no now im gonna feel bad about doing it just to porve you wrong. And then we both repeat mark's statement "greg won't mind".. Lol so anyways .Jessika will be here tomorrow! And HOPEFULLY going to the party with me n sam.!!! Tomroow im going to sams at like 7 am getting ready there, then getting allergy shots, waiting with mark in emerge, then hanging out..somewhere..? lol.... Anyways tis all G'night.

Current Mood: Im allright

Current Music: Beauty and the Beast lol

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Mar. 5th, 2005

02:41 pm - HeArTbReAkEr..

So, last night I went out with Sam and Melissa. We met up with the bmxers from mine and sams last visit to timmy's last weekend. the guy with the hair. he cut it :( lol. ANYWAYS we were at timmy's for somewhere in between 1 and 2 hours i think (cant remeber)and then the james kid got alcohol and him and (greg?) called a speedy but we ended up going with them, so we went to gregs house (haha they were supposed to be going to some other chicks house). and they each drank a bottle of colt 45 lol. they had malibu which i snuck into gregs coat, which i was wearing. see remeber i thought he was cute last time. and i like him. but he got so drunk and by the end of the night i couldnt handle talking to him. i mean i held his hand. but.. he was so drunk and saying things that i doubt hed say ot me if he was sober. im just so confused now. because i want to see him again. but ...matt....

Current Mood: sad

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Feb. 26th, 2005

10:49 pm - Babysitting to Sickness :(

I babysat Eric, Cass, and Barbie. Ate tons and tons of milk products. Which to my ultimate despair ruined me.

I finally got a later curfew of 11:30pm. Some of you may think "hun, thats not later" but if you know my rents, or know of them, its insanely late lol. Anyways so I went to Timmy's down on Victoria with Sam(the same sam with whom i got kicked from the mall with K.B) and when I got there I started feeling sick. So eventually I'm like alright lets go outside see if the air helps. So we go out, less than five minutes go by, and I still feel like shit. So she calls her mom to take us home(its only 10pm) and then all these bmxers(*drools*) came outside, and two were really yummy. lol. I started feeling a little better but not too much. Eventually I feel almost completely better, but then Sam's mom got there. SO we leave, in the car I start feeling sick again. As soon as I get home I get sick. Barely make it to the bathroom. And apparently I have a fever. So now im drinking tea . lol.

Current Mood: sick

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Feb. 25th, 2005

11:24 pm - malls

Yesterday I hung with Trav, which was all right but allergy shots made me fall asleep almost at his place. Im always tired there. Lmao.

Today after school I went to the pen with Baby and K.B. They took me into all the really preppy/slutty stores. Lol I was like what am I doing here? I didn't even get to go into the music store, or to look for more eyebrow posts like I had intended. Oh well

So then we go to the square. We hit a couple stores (not that there are that many anyways) then make our way to urban behaviour. I find a spaghetti strap black silk top with lace and beads(real hawt) and a black vest which reverses to pink. Sam and Spencer come in and were all talking. Spencer tries on a womans orange coat(IT LOOKED GOOD I SWEAR) but gets yelled at by the lady. So were in there for like an hour (at one point the chick became suspicious of me spencer k.b and baby cuz we were behind this wall waiting for sam, and they thought we were ..being suspicious. Spencer helped me pick out my glasses. Eventually we leave. Man we were all so hyper. We got in trouble from the security guards and some two hours later as we aer leaving they ask us to leave, at which point I scream(making sure to slurr my words for affect) "WERE ON OUR WAY OCCIFER!" lmao. So we go to the movies for a bit. Lotsa fun. Head back (me baby and k.b.) I meet alan. Night ends. We are home now. This is it. Man I cant describe it all, but man point is sam is crazy, im a permafry, kaitlin is a stupid hoe who appears permafried, baby is my quiet little sis, and spencer is very blunt with his words. Lol.

Current Mood: lol

Current Music: none

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Feb. 22nd, 2005

10:02 pm - Tonight :D

Tonight I went to Trav's place. When I got there we made popcorn, had a butt and he sniffed one hit of codeine and dropped a second.
So we were watching tv and attempting to eat popcorn we made, and the doorbell rings. Its Tyler, Emily, Kelly, and Jordan. We figure Trav's mom wont let them all in so we go outside(around 7:15pm). We throw around snowballs in front of Trav's place, and I finally realize who Tyler and Emily are, DUH! lol
So then they go to call on some kid and we finally end up in this little cubby hole. We get kicked froom the cubby hole. We go back. Some toher chicks show up. We all cram in a corner. I am asked if I do drugs, have i done drugs, do i know anyone, does travis(to which i reply i dunno i just fuck him)asked if I'm a lesbian after grabbing kelly's boob(I reply yes, everyone laughs) kelly keeps pushing her but into trav's balls. we all eventually get in a hugging arms around circle, and shut out the little kids. Some grade 7 comes and so we let him in the circle. we open the circle for the little kids after like half hour goes by. Oh before me and trav were asked if were dating (to which we also reply no we just fuck). Finally we have to go home. Trav and me walk Kells home, then me and Trav go our separate wasy at the corner of my street(also kelly's street but meh). I come home. Now I sit. I definately have to learn to space paragraphs. Thats the basic out line of the night. Oh and I told Ty his mom was hott etc and then I realized shes one of tracey's best friends. whoops eh? ah well. Tis all folks.

Current Mood: fun fun fun night

Current Music: none\

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03:33 pm - just another day

man yesterday was horrible what with the getting slushed, tripping and falling over my phone cord, hitting my head on the ceiling. Grr. But today is a good day. It will keep being a good day. Damnit it will.
~*Every time you go, you are all I see*~ damn I cant get the hip outta my head. Yep today I found out something interesting. That kid (Shogo) who eats lucnh where i do and is in my Law class, he smokes!:shocked: lol

man that guest speaker drug guy today, I could not stop staring at his package. for like an hour I heard nothing. Lol. I was like to Dylan, damn i want those pants, I want in those pants!! Lol.

Current Mood: im always just alright

Current Music: The Tragically Hip - album-Up to here

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